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品笑话学英语-2018-153

Posted by loong on 2018/12/13 in 英语段子 |

Text To Dad

My brother spent all of the “fun money” our parents had allotted halfway through his first semester at college.
He sent this text to our dad: Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son.
Our dad replied with: Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad.
 
英语笑话_轻松学英语_英文笑话_怎么轻松学英语_好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的
 

Captain Discipline

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep.
No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that actually worked. I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, “Children, this is the captain speaking. Don’t make me stop this airplane and come back there!”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。

The Company Party

At a company party, the staff decided to have a little fun with their boss who had a habit of playing serious practical jokes on everyone else. When he went to the restroom, he left his wallet behind. They searched through it and found his lotto ticket. They wrote down his numbers and called over the waitress to set up a little prank.
She came back half an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night’s lotto numbers, then proceeded to read them out loud before setting the numbers on the table. The boss looked at the numbers, then casually pulled out his wallet and compared them. He became really silent, put his wallet back in his jacket and sat down again, breathing really rapidly, and looking totally astonished.
After a couple of minutes he pulled out his wallet and lotto ticket again, and checked the numbers, very carefully. Then, he stood up on his chair and shouted out to the whole room, “I just want to let you all know something. I don’t like any of you, and I have hated working for this company. You can all go to hell, ‘cos I’ve just won loads of money, and I’m leaving!”
 
Blog of Loong
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Definition of Family Planning

Definition of Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
 
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