Bed Ridden Grandma
I asked my grandma what health problems ran in our family, for a school project.
She said she couldn’t really think of any.
“So you’ve been pretty healthy all your life?” I asked.
“Yep.” she replied contentedly.
“So you’ve never been bed ridden?” I went on.
“Lord yes, hundreds of times, and once in a buggy!”
The Hotel Room
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
“You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”
“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”
“No problem,” the tired Marine assured him. “I’ll take it.”
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “How’d you sleep?” asked the manager.
The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring, then?”
“Nope, I shut him up in no time” said the Marine.
“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.
“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the Marine” explained.
“I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.”
The Onion Lover
Question: What did the bride give to the groom that loves onions?
Answer: Onion Ring!
Blog of Loong
The Three Idiots
There were three idiots who were in another country and they didn’t know the language. They decided that they would go to the local village and they would each learn one new phrase.
So they went to the village, and the first idiot was watching a girl sing, “Me,me,me,me,me!!” So that was the first idiot’s phrase.
The second idiot saw a street vendor who was selling silverware and who was saying “Forks and knifes.” And that was the second idiot’s phrase.
The third idiot went to a park and saw a boy saying, “Swing me first!” And that was the third idiot’s phrase.
The three idiots met back and were about to tell each other their new phrases when a policeman ran up and said, “There has been a murder. Who did it?”
The idiots decided to use their new phrases, so the first one said, “Me,me,me,me,me!”
The policeman said, “What was the murder weapon?” The second idiot said, “Forks and knifes.”
The policeman said, “Y’all are going to have to hang for this.” The third idiot said, “Swing me first!”