Smile every day-2018-82

Posted by loong on 2018/10/02 in 英语段子 |

The fellow walked in

The fellow walked into a bar he had never been in before and ordered a drink. He then asked the bartender if he enjoyed dumb-jock jokes. The beefy attendant leaned over the bar and fixed a withering glare on his customer. “Listen, buddy,” he growled. “See those two big guys on the left? They’re professional football players. And that huge fellow on your right is a world-class wrestler. That guy in the corner is a champion weight-lifter. And I lettered in three sports at Notre Dame. Now,” he continued, “are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your dumb-jock joke here?” “Nah, I guess not,” the man replied. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

Three Ways of the Hair

There are three ways a man wears his hair…
Parted, Un-parted, or Departed!


Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were…

Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other “professor,” and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months! “TWO MONTHS?!” cried the bartender. “That’s ridiculous. It shouldn’t take that long!!”
“Oh yeah?” says one drunk. “The box said 2-4 YEARS!”
Blog of Loong
Computer Terms

CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space
COMPUTER: A device designed to speed and automate errors
COMPUTER CLUB: Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages
CONSOLE: What one does to a “down” computer
CURSOR: An expert in 4-letter words
DUMP: A system programmer’s work area
FEATURE: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative
KEYBOARD: An instrument used for entering errors into a system
LANGUAGE: A system of organizing and defining error messages
PASSWORD: The nonsense word taped to your terminal

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