Smile every day-2018-51

Posted by loong on 2018/09/01 in 英语段子 |

You Know you are Add

You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When…
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don’t have a clue when it happened.
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
· All of your friends have an @ in their names.
· Your dog has its own home page.
· You can’t call your mother… she doesn’t have a modem.
· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
· You get a new suit that says, “This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher.”
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg.
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

Things to do Wal-M

Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get cans of cat food and randomly put them in people’s carts when they don’t realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in house wares,” and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10.”
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M’s on layaway.
8. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”

How Does He Do It?

Q: How did the Antartian break his leg raking leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree.
Q: How did the Antartian die drinking milk?
A: The cow stepped on her.
Blog of Loong


Q: Why are frogs so

Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!
Q: Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
A: He liked a good croak and dagger.
Q: What does a bankrupt frog say?
A: “Baroke, baroke, baroke.”

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