Smile every day-2018-26

Posted by loong on 2018/08/07 in 英语段子 |

30 Years of Marriage

After 30 years of marriage Jane as all women do started nagging to John her husband that he does not love her anymore and told him John why don’t you go to get some advice from our friend the Bishop so you will love me more. Well John thought if I go to the Bishop I will drink some of his good wine and went.
When he came back he saw his wife at door, then he went up to her and lifted her and carried her from one room to other. She was really pleased with this gesture and asked What did Bishop tell you.
Well he told me go and carry your Cross and wonder who is my cross?

Cross A Dog

What do you get if you cross a dog with a cheetah?
A dog that chases cars — and catches them!
What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
An animal that can lick you from the other side of the road!
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there’s a Dog!


Bartender, There’s a Fly In My Beer

A millionaire, a hard hat, and an old drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest.
It’s now the old drunk’s turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

Blog of Loong(https://nicelife.me)

Good News, Bad News

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news.
“I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” The Lord told him.
Adam looked at The Lord and said, “Well, give me the good news first.”
Smiling, The Lord explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.”
“Wonderful!” Adam said. “Thank you. What is the second organ?”
“The other organ,” God continued, “is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.”
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time…”


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