Smile every day-2018-24

Posted by loong on 2018/08/05 in 英语段子 |

An Exercise Program I Can Live With

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room on each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
Next, try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

3 Husbands and 13 Children

One woman married and had 6 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 3 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 4 more children.
At last, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking Him, for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to “Go forth and multiply.” In his eulogy, the preacher said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”
Leaning over to a neighbor, one mourner quietly asked, “Is he referring to her first, second or third husband?”
The neighbor replied, “I think he’s referring to her legs.”


The Meaning of Life?

After much searching and research, I have found the meaning of life. It’s in between lies and lift in the dictionary.

Blog of Loong(https://nicelife.me)

Interrupted Breakfast

The Three Bears were about to enjoy breakfast together as usual when they were interrupted by a terrible ROAARR outside their humble cottage. Immediately, the door came crashing in and this huge ugly, fierce looking bear stood in their midst!
Without hesitation, the monster slurped up Papa Bear’s porridge, then Mama Bear’s, finally licking every morsel from Baby Bear’s little bowl.
Suddenly, the intruder produced a pistol and fired several shots through the cottage roof! Where upon the furry animal walked calmly out the open door and disappeared into the forest.
WHAT WAS THAT? exclaimed Papa Bear.
I HAVE NO IDEA! said Mama Bear.
I Think it was a Koala Bear said Baby Bear.
Oh, no, Son, insisted Mama and Papa Bear. That was too big and fierce for a Koala bear. I’m pretty sure it WAS a Koala bear, said Baby Bear, walking over to the family library, and pulling down the bear history book.
Sure enough! Under the heading, KOALA BEAR it read. …….eats, shoots, and leaves.


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