My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.
As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him. 阅读全文…
Diamond Birthday Gift
Alex to his friend Francis: “Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, and I asked her, ‘What gift would you like to have?’”
Francis : “What did she say?”
Alex: “She said, ‘Give me anything which has diamonds in it.’”
Francis: “So what did you give her?”
Alex: “A deck of playing cards.” 阅读全文…
How Did He Feel?
“How did the man feel after being run over by a car?”
Answer: “Tired.” 阅读全文…
Orthopedic Surgeon’s Breakfast
What does an Orthopedic Surgeon like for breakfast?
Rice Krispies… because they go SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP! 阅读全文…
Elephant With A Skunk
What do you get when cross an elephant and a skunk?
A smell that you will never forget. 阅读全文…
What Are the Options?
Wife: “Do you want to eat something?”
Me: “Maybe, what are the options?”
Wife: “Yes or no!” 阅读全文…
What, Me Worried?
I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn’t speak.
The nurse patted my hand and said, “Don’t worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it’s not a dangerous procedure.”
“You’re right. I’m being silly,” I said, “please continue.”
“Good,” the nurse went on, “Now, do you have a living will?” 阅读全文…
The 50-50-90 rule:
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right…
There’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. 阅读全文…
A guy told his friends, “I left my job because of illness and fatigue.”
Turns out his boss just got sick and tired of him. 阅读全文…
During the school year, the public library where I work is open on Sunday afternoons. Signs posted around the library read, Sunday service available 1:30-5:00, September-June. One day a woman was returning some books when she noticed one of these signs.
“Oh, you have Sunday service now?” she asked me.
“Yes, from 1:30 to 5:00, September through June,” I explained.
“I see,” she said. “And what denomination is it?” 阅读全文…