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品笑话学英语-2018-174

Posted by loong on 2019/01/03 in 英语段子 |

The Right Side

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-173

Posted by loong on 2019/01/02 in 英语段子 |

Irish Dancing

Q: How did Irish dancing get started?
A: Too much Guinness and not enough restrooms!
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-172

Posted by loong on 2019/01/01 in 英语段子 |

A Long Wait for Bread

There was a sticker on a loaf of bread that said, ‘baked fresh for over 50 years.’
So THAT’S how long it takes to bake fresh bread…
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-171

Posted by loong on 2018/12/31 in 英语段子 |

Amazed by the Stars

A high school girl, seated next to a famous astronomer at a dinner party, struck up a conversation with him by asking, “What do you do in life?”
He replied, “I study astronomy.”
“Dear me,” said the girl. “I finished astronomy last year.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-170

Posted by loong on 2018/12/30 in 英语段子 |

Tournament Weather

Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds, which were gathering around.
“Preacher,” the organizer said, “I trust you’ll see to it that the weather won’t turn bad on us?”
Our pastor shook his head. “Sorry,” he replied. “I’m sales, not management!”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-169

Posted by loong on 2018/12/29 in 英语段子 |

A Very Cross Snail

A man was looking out his window when he noticed that there was a snail on one of his plants. So he took the snail and threw him as far as he could.
Ten years later the old man heard a tap tap tap on his window, and when he looked up he saw a very cross snail who looked at him and said, “Hey, what did you do that for?!”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-168

Posted by loong on 2018/12/28 in 英语段子 |

How Are You?

The receptionist at Howard University answers the phone:
“Good morning, Howard U.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-167

Posted by loong on 2018/12/27 in 英语段子 |

Animal Crackers

What do you get when you cross a elephant with a rhino?
Hellifiknow
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-166

Posted by loong on 2018/12/26 in 英语段子 |

A Few Good Men

A young man joined the military. Soon after he got to boot camp he realized he’d made a big mistake. It must have taken a toll on him because soon enough the stress of boot camp had pushed the young man over the edge.
The recruit started riding a pretend motor scooter making motor sounds and beeping a pretend horn. The military decided to discharge the young man due to his instability. As the young man was leaving the base for the last time he rode his pretend motor scooter. When he got to the front gate he stopped and put down the pretend kick stand.
He turned off the pretend key and started to walk away. The guard said, “Hey, what about your motor scooter?”
The young man replied, “I only needed it to get me out of here, it’s all yours.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-165

Posted by loong on 2018/12/25 in 英语段子 |

The Real Most Interesting Guy in the World

A good old boy at the bar is always telling life stories. The time he spent five years here and ten years there. He’s been to many remote places like the Amazon living with natives and such. He’s been telling stories like this for years and the more he drinks the better the stories become!
I was curious as to how much time this amazing man has spent living a life others would only dream of. After adding it up, I have to admit he sure looks good for a man who has to be at least 130 years old.
 
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