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Smile every day-2018-79

Posted by loong on 2018/09/29 in 英语段子 |

Blood Type

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.
As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him. 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-78

Posted by loong on 2018/09/28 in 英语段子 |

Diamond Birthday Gift

Alex to his friend Francis: “Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, and I asked her, ‘What gift would you like to have?’”
Francis : “What did she say?”
Alex: “She said, ‘Give me anything which has diamonds in it.’”
Francis: “So what did you give her?”
Alex: “A deck of playing cards.” 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-77

Posted by loong on 2018/09/27 in 英语段子 |

How Did He Feel?

“How did the man feel after being run over by a car?”
Answer: “Tired.” 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-76

Posted by loong on 2018/09/26 in 英语段子 |

Orthopedic Surgeon’s Breakfast

What does an Orthopedic Surgeon like for breakfast?
Rice Krispies… because they go SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP! 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-75

Posted by loong on 2018/09/25 in 英语段子 |

Elephant With A Skunk

What do you get when cross an elephant and a skunk?
A smell that you will never forget. 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-74

Posted by loong on 2018/09/24 in 英语段子 |

What Are the Options?

Wife: “Do you want to eat something?”
Me: “Maybe, what are the options?”
Wife: “Yes or no!” 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-73

Posted by loong on 2018/09/23 in 英语段子 |

What, Me Worried?

I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn’t speak.
The nurse patted my hand and said, “Don’t worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it’s not a dangerous procedure.”
“You’re right. I’m being silly,” I said, “please continue.”
“Good,” the nurse went on, “Now, do you have a living will?” 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-72

Posted by loong on 2018/09/22 in 英语段子 |

Statistics

The 50-50-90 rule:
If you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right…
There’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-71

Posted by loong on 2018/09/21 in 英语段子 |

Exit Strategy

A guy told his friends, “I left my job because of illness and fatigue.”
Turns out his boss just got sick and tired of him. 阅读全文…

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Smile every day-2018-70

Posted by loong on 2018/09/20 in 英语段子 |

Sunday Service

During the school year, the public library where I work is open on Sunday afternoons. Signs posted around the library read, Sunday service available 1:30-5:00, September-June. One day a woman was returning some books when she noticed one of these signs.
“Oh, you have Sunday service now?” she asked me.
“Yes, from 1:30 to 5:00, September through June,” I explained.
“I see,” she said. “And what denomination is it?” 阅读全文…

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