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品笑话学英语-2018-144

Posted by loong on 2018/12/04 in 英语段子 |

New Garlic Diet

Did you hear about the new garlic diet?
You don’t actually lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance.
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-143

Posted by loong on 2018/12/03 in 英语段子 |

Got What It Takes

I.R.S…. We have got what it takes, to take what you have got!
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-142

Posted by loong on 2018/12/02 in 英语段子 |

The Catch 22

Q: What can be swallowed, but can also swallow you?
A: Water.
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-141

Posted by loong on 2018/12/01 in 英语段子 |

A Rut and A Grave

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-140

Posted by loong on 2018/11/30 in 英语段子 |

Chilly Outside

Yo Momma is so dumb…
She came out with a bowl after hearing it was chilly outside!
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-139

Posted by loong on 2018/11/29 in 英语段子 |

Wake up Call

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife didn’t wake him up, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-138

Posted by loong on 2018/11/28 in 英语段子 |

Keep On Pulling

A preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.
“This mower work, son?” the preacher asked.
Little Johnny said, “Sure does, just pull on the cord hard, though.”
The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn’t start.
Thinking he’d been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny’s house. “You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough.”
“Well,” Johnny said, “you need to curse at it sometimes.”
The preacher was aghast. “I’ve not done that in years!”
“Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It’ll come back to you.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-137

Posted by loong on 2018/11/27 in 英语段子 |

Why It Takes So Long

Why did the energizer Bunny take so long to go to the bathroom?
Because he kept going and going and going…
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-136

Posted by loong on 2018/11/26 in 英语段子 |

Turkey Procedure

A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend’s house.
The host deftly carved the turkey and said, “I’d make a pretty good surgeon, don’t you think?”
The surgeon replied, “Anybody can take it apart. Let’s see you put it back together again.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-135

Posted by loong on 2018/11/25 in 英语段子 |

It’s His Charm

“Do you know, why Andrews is so popular with the girls?”
“No, why?”
“When he sits down beside a pretty girl in a bar, he tells her, ‘I’m not really so tall, I’m just sitting on my wallet.'”
 
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