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品笑话学英语-2019-371

Posted by loong on 2019/07/20 in 英语段子 |

Get A Move On, Doggies!

What are the facilities called where huskies are trained to start their sleds moving and to speed them up in the Iditarod sled competition?
Mush Rooms.
 
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每天看一看,托福、雅思轻松过。
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-370

Posted by loong on 2019/07/19 in 英语段子 |

Stuck in the Desert

Why is it quite impossible to starve in the desert?
Because you can always enjoy the sand which is there.
 
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每天看一看,托福、雅思轻松过。
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-369

Posted by loong on 2019/07/18 in 英语段子 |

The High Cost of Beef

An economist asked, “When was beef the highest?”
A 6 year old replied, “When the cow jumped over the moon?”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-368

Posted by loong on 2019/07/17 in 英语段子 |

Secret Code

“Hocus Pocus” doesn’t work anymore…
I think they changed the password.
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-367

Posted by loong on 2019/07/16 in 英语段子 |

Resolved Settlement

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in…
A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
 
英语笑话_轻松学英语_英文笑话_怎么轻松学英语_好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的!
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品笑话学英语-2019-366

Posted by loong on 2019/07/15 in 英语段子 |

Smart Dog

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance.
“That is a very smart dog,” the man commented.
“Not really,” said one of the irked players. “Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-365

Posted by loong on 2019/07/14 in 英语段子 |

Mom!

A small boy is sent to bed by his mother. Five minutes later, “Mom.”
“What?”
“I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”
[Five minutes later] “Mom.”
“What?”
“I’m thirsty. Can I please have a glass of water?”
“I told you no! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!”
[Five minutes later] “Mom!”
“WHAT?!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-364

Posted by loong on 2019/07/13 in 英语段子 |

Sensitive Habitat

Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-363

Posted by loong on 2019/07/12 in 英语段子 |

I Couldn’t Cut It

I attempted being a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-362

Posted by loong on 2019/07/11 in 英语段子 |

Moral Of The Story

One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.” When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”
Little Lucy went next. “My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.”; Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy replied, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
Next up was little Johnny. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands.” The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. “Well,” Johnny replied, “Don’t mess with Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”
 
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