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品笑话学英语-2019-215

Posted by loong on 2019/02/13 in 英语段子 |

Interview Dilemma

Interviewer: So what do you have planned for the future?
Me: Lunch
Interviewer: No, I mean long term.
Me: Oh… Dinner.
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-214

Posted by loong on 2019/02/12 in 英语段子 |

Smoking A Turkey

Yo’ momma is so fat…
She smokes a turkey after sex instead of a cigarette!
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-213

Posted by loong on 2019/02/11 in 英语段子 |

Not the Brightest Spark

My boss called me into his office today.
“We both know you’re not the brightest spark here, Simon,” he said, “but over the last 5 years you’ve never been sick or late and I think you deserve a reward. So, how does a brand new car sound?”
“Vrooom! Vrooooom!” I replied.
 
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趣闻:尴尬的消防栓

Posted by loong on 2019/02/10 in 生活休闲 |

消防栓,这个火灾防范设施在当今社会已经非常普遍了,可以说是随处可见。趣闻-消防栓的发明专利被火灾毁了
广泛分布的消防栓可以保证在火灾发生时能够方便快捷地取水灭火,自19世纪人们开始使用消防栓以来,这个小小的设施可是挽救了许许多多的生命,那这么有价值的东西究竟是何人发明的呢?这可真是一个好玩又长知识的问题。

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品笑话学英语-2019-212

Posted by loong on 2019/02/10 in 英语段子 |

Little boys and skydiving

There are three men in the military practicing skydiving. The first man jumps out and a swiss army knife falls out of his pocket. The second man jumps out and a kitchen knife falls out of his pocket. The third jumps out and a grenade falls out of his pocket. When they land, they go and look for the things they drop because they could have really hurt someone.The first man is running along the street and sees a little boy crying. “Little boy, why are you crying?” he asks. The boy says, “A swiss army knife fell out of the sky and killed my cat!”The second man is running along a street and sees a little girl crying. “Little girl, why are you crying?” he asks. The girl says, “A big kitchen knife fell from the sky and killed my puppy!”The third man is running down a street and sees a little boy laughing hysterically. “Little boy, why are you laughing?” he asks. The boy says, “My dad farted and the house blew up!”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-211

Posted by loong on 2019/02/09 in 英语段子 |

Pavlov in a Bar

Pavlov is sitting in a bar and the phone begins to ring.
He jumps up and shouts, “Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs!”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-210

Posted by loong on 2019/02/08 in 英语段子 |

Palmistry

Palmist to Man: “By looking at the lines in your palm, someone very near to you is going to get disappointed.”
Man: “Wow, you are good! For you will be disappointed to know that I forgot my wallet in the house.”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-209

Posted by loong on 2019/02/07 in 英语段子 |

Swims All Day

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks lots of water, but still weighs a lot!
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-208

Posted by loong on 2019/02/06 in 英语段子 |

The Long Goodbye

A men’s Sunday school teacher asked the men how they would spend the next 30 days if they knew the world would end. The first man said, “I would spend it on a mission to Africa.”
They all agreed this was a great idea. The second man said, “I would volunteer at the local hospital and help as many as possible.”
They all agreed this was a worthy goal as well. The third man said if he only had 30 days to live he would spend every minute with his ex-wife. They were all shocked at his answer as he had endured a most miserable marriage to a shrew.
“Why would you want to spend your last 30 days with a woman you hated?” they asked.
‘Well, I really am not looking forward to the end of the world and I would want to delay it as long as possible. And believe me, living with my ex-wife would make 30 days seem like an eternity!”
 
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品笑话学英语-2019-207

Posted by loong on 2019/02/05 in 英语段子 |

The Wedding Text

A father texts his son: “My dear son, today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life. My best love and good wishes. Your Father.”
His son texts back: “Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn’t actually until tomorrow!”
His Father replies: “I know.”
 
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