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品笑话学英语-2018-156

Posted by loong on 2018/12/16 in 英语段子 |

Modern Tool Handbook

Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one’s enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Pliers – A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Multi-Pliers – Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
Electronic Stud Finder – An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light – A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you’re working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill – A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.
Cell Phone – The handyman’s 911.
Chain Saw – Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
Vise Grips – A pair of helping hands that doesn’t critique the job you’re doing or offer advice.
 
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品笑话学英语-2018-155

Posted by loong on 2018/12/15 in 英语段子 |

What Did He Say? A senior couple pulls up to a rest sto […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-154

Posted by loong on 2018/12/14 in 英语段子 |

My Pet’s Name I have a pet who is a continual sou […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-153

Posted by loong on 2018/12/13 in 英语段子 |

Text To Dad My brother spent all of the “fun money” our […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-152

Posted by loong on 2018/12/12 in 英语段子 |

Walking Gum Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuc […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-151

Posted by loong on 2018/12/11 in 英语段子 |

Banana Head A man walked into a bar with a banana on hi […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-150

Posted by loong on 2018/12/10 in 英语段子 |

When Will the Rain Stop? As a young boy I asked my gran […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-149

Posted by loong on 2018/12/09 in 英语段子 |

Hard Work I tried working in a muffler factory, but tha […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-148

Posted by loong on 2018/12/08 in 英语段子 |

Nobody Really Was Home A girl phoned me the other day a […]

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品笑话学英语-2018-147

Posted by loong on 2018/12/07 in 英语段子 |

A Skeleton Has Feelings Two skeletons were discussing t […]

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