Posts by loong:
Modern Tool Handbook
Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one’s enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
Pliers – A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.
Multi-Pliers – Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.
Electronic Stud Finder – An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.
Halogen Light – A work-light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you’re working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.
Cordless Drill – A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.
Cell Phone – The handyman’s 911.
Chain Saw – Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
Vise Grips – A pair of helping hands that doesn’t critique the job you’re doing or offer advice.
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