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品笑话学英语-2019-361

Posted by loong on 2019/07/10 in 英语段子 |

Choice of Words

The priest said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so.”
Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the priest said to her, ‘Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words.”
Sister Mary said, “Hard bed.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” the priest said, “We will get you a better bed.”
After another 5 years, Sister Mary was summoned by the Priest: “You may say another two words, Sister Mary.”
“Cold food,” said Sister Mary, and the priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the priest again called Sister Mary in to his office. “You may say two words today.”
“I quit,” said Sister Mary. “It’s probably best,” said the priest, “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
 
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A Fishy Situation

I became a professional fisherman…
But discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
 
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International Rules

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Kiwi, a Canadian, an Eskimo, a Fijian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Spaniard, a Mongolian, a Tibetan, a Pollack, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Indian, an Italian, a Brazilian, a Kenyan, a South African, a Filipino, a Pakistani, a Korean, an Argentinean, a Lithuanian, a Dane, a Finn, a Swede, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a Croat, and a Panamanian go to a fancy bar…
The bouncer says: “Sorry. I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
The Cursing Clone

Two clones were standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, one of them cursing wildly.
The other one, tired of hearing all the profanity, pushed the cursing one into the Canyon.
The police were called and immediately arrested the survivor.
He was charged with “making an obscene clone fall.”
 
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