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Smile every day-2019-328

Posted by loong on 2019/06/07 in 英语段子 |

A Successful Son

One Sunday, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate.
This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. “Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate.” he stated.
“Why, yes,” she replied. “Every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church.”
The pastor replied, “That’s wonderful, how much does he send you?”
“$10,000 a week.”
The pastor was amazed. “Your son must be very successful. What does he do for a living?”
“He’s a veterinarian,” she answered.
“That’s an honorable profession,” the pastor said. “Where does he practice?”
The old lady said proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno.”
 
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Condom Only

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier ask him if he wants a bag.
He replies, “No, she’s not that ugly.”
 
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Amos Who?

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there? Amos.
Amos who?
Amosquito just bit me!
 
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The Cow Near the 18th Hole

Four guys enjoying a round of golf come up to the 18 hole. The first 3 guys put their ball in the fairway, the last guy drives his ball over the fence with his new Titleist. He tells his friends to finish up and that he will meet them in club house.
After a half hour goes by and finally the 4th golfer comes back all beat up with bumps and cuts on his head and bleeding all over. All his fellow golfers are like, what the heck happened?
He tells them the story. Over the fence was a bunch of cows. I noticed one cow was moaning and carrying on crazy. I slowly lifted her tail and there was a ball stuck in the you know what. Gladly it was not mine. About that time a lady came over the fence looking for her ball. So I told her to come over and let me show you something. I raised the tail on that cow and said to her does that look like yours?
After that I don’t remember much…
 
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