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品笑话学英语-2019-315

Posted by loong on 2019/05/25 in 英语段子 |

I Didn’t Know

One morning when I was seven, my Mom was lecturing me about an untruth I told her.
In response I said, “Honest Mom, I didn’t know I was lying. I thought I was just making it up.”
 
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Lost Money

I was standing in line in a bank one day when a teenager called out in a loud voice, “Did anyone lose a big wad of bills with a rubber band around it?”
Two men and a woman quickly called out, “I did!”
The teenager responded saying, “Well I found the rubber band!”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
How Many Times Do You Laugh

Jane laughs at a joke once when you tell it.
Fred laughs at a joke twice. Once when you tell it and once with you explain it to him.
Susie laughs at a joke three times. Once when you tell it, once when you explain it to her, and once when she understands it.
Mark laughs at a joke twice. Once when you tell it and once when you explain it to him. He never understands it.
Will laughs at a joke once when you tell it. There’s no use trying to explain it to him.
 
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Soup of the Day

One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight’s dinner. I told him I didn’t know how to make soup. He quickly handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.
Soon after I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.
Instead the sergeant said, “This tastes really good… are you sure you followed the recipe?”
 
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