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品笑话学英语-2019-306

Posted by loong on 2019/05/16 in 英语段子 |

Sally’s Report Card

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.
Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.
 
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The Man and the Parrot

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.
The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, ”$2000.”
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive.
The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”
”What about the green one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, ”He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”
”What about the red one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, ”That one’s $10,000.”
The man says, ”What does he do?”
The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”
 
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Hunter Calls 911

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Okay, now what?”
 
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A Big Spendthrift

Jose was chatting with his friend Pablo. He said to Pablo, “My wife is a BIG spendthrift. She keeps asking me for more and more money every week.”
Pablo asked, “But what does she spend all that money on?”
Jose replied, “Who knows, I never give her any money.”
 
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