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品笑话学英语-2019-291

Posted by loong on 2019/05/01 in 英语段子 |

He Didn’t See His Wife

A married man left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.
After a few of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for a couple of days?”
The husband couldn’t believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled, and said, “That would suit me just fine.”
Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn’t see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
 
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Did You See That?

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, “Did you see that?”
“No,” the second guy says.
“Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead,” the first guy says.
“Oh,” says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, the first guy says, “Did you see that?”
“See what?” the second guy asks.
“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.”
“Oh.”
A few minutes later the first guy says: “Did you see that?”
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, “Yes, I did!”
And the first guy says, “Then why did you step in it?”
 
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Glass After Glass of Tea

Did you hear what happened to the Indian as he drank glass after glass of tea in his tent?
He got soaked in his teepee!
 
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A Lesson in Kindness

The school teacher gave a pupil two apples. One was big the other was small. Then she said: “When your brother comes up and asks you for one of the apples which one are you going to give him?”
The student thought about it for a minute then replied: “Are we talking about my little brother or my big brother?”
 
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