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品笑话学英语-2019-288

Posted by loong on 2019/04/28 in 英语段子 |

Happenings

Ten Percent of the people make things happen.
Twenty percent of the people participate in what happens.
Sixty percent of the people watch things happen.
The remaining ten percent sit around confused wondering what happened.
 
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Whispering GPS

You know you are lost and in a bad neighborhood when your GPS starts whispering directions.
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
Professional Worrier

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, “What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore.”
“I hired a professional worrier and I haven’t had a worry since,” replied Jack.
“That must be expensive,” Bob replied.
“He charges $5,000 a month,” Jack told him.
“$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?” exclaimed Bob.
“I don’t know. That’s his problem.”
 
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It’s Bad Alright

Tired of hearing her teenager complain about everything, the frustrated mother finally reached her boiling point.
“Honey, let me give you some free life advice… Life IS as bad as you think, and yes, they ARE out to get you!”
 
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