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品笑话学英语-2019-235

Posted by loong on 2019/03/06 in 英语段子 |

How Many Astronauts?

How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?
It takes two astronauts to change a light bulb. Astronaut number one to hold the light bulb and astronaut number two to rotate astronaut number one.
 
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Have You Seen My Brother?

A penguin walks into a bar. He goes to the counter and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?”
Bartender replies, “I don’t know, what does he look like?”
 
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Wrong Ways To Initiate Your Son Into Manhoood

10. Teach him the secret male ritual of leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper roll empty.
9. Have a ceremony where you give him his own remote control.
8. Lead him through an afternoon of rigorous physical training in the back yard while you sit in a lawn chair with a half-gallon of ice cream.
7. Eat until you’re about to burst and then ride the Screamin’ Hurler roller coaster.
6. Put cream on his face and let the cat shave him with its tongue.
5. Walk behind him through his school halls yelling, “You da man!”
4. Send him to the local discount store to buy mom’s “personal things.”
3. Give him Grandma’s lime green Gremlin with personalized license plates that say, “TUFFGUY.”
2. When the women of the house are gone, get out your secret ‘Old Yeller’ video and have a good cry together.
1. Shot put catching.
 
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It’s Wider

At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.
“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.
“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。

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