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品笑话学英语-2019-223

Posted by loong on 2019/02/21 in 英语段子 |

New Wing in the Hospital

Doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at the hospital. What did they do?
The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.
The pediatricians said, “grow up.”
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
The cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
And the plastic surgeons said, “this puts a whole new face on the matter.”
 
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The Good Thief

Why didn’t the man report his stolen credit card?
The thief was spending less than his wife.
 
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Covering the Bird

We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.
Our daughter turned to my wife and said, “Mom, you always did it that way.”
“Yes,” my wife replied, “but you don’t have a cat!”
 
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Dubious Accomplishment #23

I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
 
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