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品笑话学英语-2019-220

Posted by loong on 2019/02/18 in 英语段子 |

Donuts or Diet

Husband: You brought home donuts. I thought we agreed, no sweets, while you were on your diet.
Wife: I know it but the Lord wanted me to have them.
Husband: How do you know the Lord wanted you to have them?
Wife: As I was approaching the donut shop I said to the Lord, “If it’s your will for me to have donuts, let there be a parking space open right in front of the shop”.
Husband: So I suppose there was an open parking space?
Wife: Absolutely! The eighth time around the block there it was.
 
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A Dinner Out

When my wife and I went out for dinner I thought I’d have a little fun. I said to her, “Did you see that waitress? She looked at me and smiled.”
Without batting an eye my wife responded, “So what, the first time I saw you I laughed right out loud. It means nothing.”
 
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One For the Road

There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London, which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung.
The horse-drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ”ONE LAST DRINK”.
If he said YES, it was referred to as ONE FOR THE ROAD.
If he declined, that prisoner was ON THE WAGON.
So there you go.
 
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It’s All About the Money

A couple was having a discussion about family finances.
Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!”
The wife replied, “Honey, if it weren’t for your money, you wouldn’t be here!”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。

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