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品笑话学英语-2019-212

Posted by loong on 2019/02/10 in 英语段子 |

Little boys and skydiving

There are three men in the military practicing skydiving. The first man jumps out and a swiss army knife falls out of his pocket. The second man jumps out and a kitchen knife falls out of his pocket. The third jumps out and a grenade falls out of his pocket. When they land, they go and look for the things they drop because they could have really hurt someone.The first man is running along the street and sees a little boy crying. “Little boy, why are you crying?” he asks. The boy says, “A swiss army knife fell out of the sky and killed my cat!”The second man is running along a street and sees a little girl crying. “Little girl, why are you crying?” he asks. The girl says, “A big kitchen knife fell from the sky and killed my puppy!”The third man is running down a street and sees a little boy laughing hysterically. “Little boy, why are you laughing?” he asks. The boy says, “My dad farted and the house blew up!”
 
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My Third Grade Teacher

I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.
“Hi, Miss Butcher,” I said.
“Hi, Eddie,” she replied.
“So you do remember me?” I asked.
“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but you definitely leave a lasting one.”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
Going Bananas

As part of the admission procedure in a hospital, a nurse will ask the patient if they are allergic to anything. If they are, the nurse prints it on an allergy band that goes on the patient’s wrist.
Once when the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, the woman said she couldn’t eat bananas.
Several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses station demanding, “Who’s responsible for labeling my mother ‘Bananas’?”
 
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How Many Philosophers?

How many PHILOSOPHERS does it take to change a light bulb?
TWO: One to argue it’s not dark. The other to argue that true light is impossible.
 
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