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品笑话学英语-2018-187

Posted by loong on 2019/01/16 in 英语段子 |

Odd

A mother and father named their child “Odd”. Because of his unfortunate name, poor Odd had the worst life you could imagine.
In school, he was always picked on and had trouble making friends. In college he never fit in and struggled to gain the respect of his peers. In life he drifted from job to job, unable to find steady work. He never found the love of his life and lived a lonely bachelor.
And so one day Odd decided he couldn’t go on anymore and took his own life. In his suicide note he demanded that his grave be a blank headstone with no mention of his name, so that he could be completely and utterly forgotten.
And yet every time someone walks past his grave, they see his wordless stone and go, “That’s odd…”
 
英语笑话_轻松学英语_英文笑话_怎么轻松学英语_好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的
 

Lousy Cook

You are a lousy cook if…
Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a fire siren.
Anyone has ever broken a tooth eating your homemade yogurt.
Your kids know what “peas porridge in a pot nine days old” tastes like.
Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs forks and follows him.
Your kids’ favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.
You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle.
Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over for dinner.
Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.
No matter what you do to it the gravy still turns bright purple.
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
Eye and Ear Doctor

A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, “I want to see the Eye/Ear doctor.”
“There is no such doctor ” she tells him. “Perhaps you would like to see someone else?”
“No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor,” he says.
“But there is no such doctor,” she replies. “We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor.”
He repeats, “I want to see the eye-ear doctor.”
They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: “Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?”
“Because,” he replies, “I keep hearing one thing and seeing another.”
 
Blog of Loong
好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的!
The Description Of Love?

Question What is love and explain in details ?
(16 Marks)
Arts Student:
Answer: Love is life. (Marks : 5 out of 16)
Law Student:
Answer : Love is pain. (Marks : 5 out of 16)
Medical Student:
Answer : Love is god. (Marks : 5 out of 16)
EngineeringStudent:
Answer :
– Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship between men & women that can cause death of 1 or both depending on the resistance associated.
– TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided
– AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers but nowadays can be found in any age.
– SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
– DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile
– TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father’s Shoe
or
Mother’s Sandal.
(marks 16 out of 16 ) – Excellent!
______________________
NOTE :-
Don’t ask engineering students, they can stretch any thing for 16 marks!
 
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