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品笑话学英语-2018-184

Posted by loong on 2019/01/13 in 英语段子 |

Hard Day of Golfing

David was a new golfer, who had taken to the game so deeply that he lost all track of time. As almost a commandment, when David went out to play golf, he was always late coming home by three or more hours. Needless to say, Grace his wife, suffered as well as she could, but every once in a while she threw a fit because of his broken time to be home promises.
It was Sunday afternoon and David was heading out the door for the golf course. Grace nailed him before he got out the door and reminded him that her sister and husband would be there that evening for supper at 7PM . Dave saw no problem with this and swore to Grace that he would be home by 6PM. Well in time to meet his sister-in-law. Grace made him promise several times and Dave swore he would be home by 6.
Grace started looking out the door at 5:30 and saw no sign of Dave. 6PM, Dave’s, promised time of arrival came and still no Dave had arrived. Minutes passed and at 6:30 the guests arrived. Grace served cocktails and started burning under the collar.
Dinner was served late at 8PM and still no Dave. Grace was thinking of good divorce lawyers. When 10:30 arrived the guests left and Grace sat down in the living room to have a good cry.
At 11:15 Dave walked through the door, sat his clubs in the corner and sat down with his wife. “Such a golf game I had. On the second hole, Irving dropped dead. After that it was terrible. Hit the ball, drag Irving. Hit the ball, drag Irving. Hit the ball, drag Irving…
 
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Aardvark

Q: What do aardvarks have that no other animal have?
A: Baby Aardvarks
 
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好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的!
Moonshine and The City Feller

A city feller was out driving in the mountains when around a curve a large mountain man stepped out and flagged him down. The city feller stopped, the mountain man got in and pulled a jar out of his coat pocket and said here take a pull out of this. The city feller said no thanks. The mountain man said no go ahead take a swig. The city feller again refused and said no I’m good. The mountain man now quite sternly demanded, I said take a drink, when the city feller once more refused the mountain man pulled a large horse pistol out of his pocket, pointed it at the city feller and roared, I said take a drink. The city feller said alright hand her here. He proceeded to take a healthy swig and for about 5 minutes he couldn’t breathe, hear or see. When he finally got his wits about him, he asked the mountain man, how you can drink that stuff anyhow? The mountain man replied, I can’t hardly, now you hold the gun on me and make me take a drink.
 
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Zebra Stripes

On which side does a Zebra have more stripes?
On the outside.
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。

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