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品笑话学英语-2018-167

Posted by loong on 2018/12/27 in 英语段子 |

Animal Crackers

What do you get when you cross a elephant with a rhino?
Hellifiknow
 
英语笑话_轻松学英语_英文笑话_怎么轻松学英语_好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的
 

It’s All In the Definition

Definitions…
MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he/she can die rich.
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and then shakes your confidence later.
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you by his bills.
 
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Pulling On A Chain

Guy walks into bar, pulling on a long chain.
The bartender asks him, “You come in here everyday pulling that chain, why?”
The guy replies, “You ever tried to push one?”
 
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Marriage Meanings

To some, marriage is a word…
To others, it’s a sentence.
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。

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