All Dolled Up
A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no secrets except for one. The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed – and with her blessing – he opened the box and found a crocheted doll and $60,000 in cash.
“My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue,” she explained. “So instead of arguing, I would keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box, meaning that she’d been angry with him only once in 60 years. “But what about all this money?” he asked.
“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
Good Morning, Bill
You know you’re having a bad day when…
Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.
A Weasel at a Restaurant
A weasel is dining at a restaurant. He takes his seat and starts looking over the menu.
The waiter then asks, “What can I get you to drink, sir?”
“Oh, not much. Just a diet pop,” goes the weasel.
Blog of Loong
Emergency Dispatcher Sees All
Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital.
After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, “Do you know what caused the fall?”
“No,” the woman nervously replied. “What?”