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品笑话学英语-2018-86

Posted by loong on 2018/10/06 in 英语段子 |

Late for Work!

I woke up suddenly terrified, I’m late for work!
I opened my eyes and chilled… I’m at work.

Free Drinks

A man walks into a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8. “But I already paid you. Don’t you remember? Says the customer. “OK,” says the bartender, “If you say you paid, then I suppose you did.”
The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can’t keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt. The barkeep replies, “OK, If you say you paid, than I suppose you did.”
The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs. The bartender leans over and says, “You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the face”
The man interrupts, “Don’t bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my bill and ill be on my way.”
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
Retired Lawyers

What is the favorite pastime for Retired Lawyers?
Ambulance chasing!
—– Old Habits Die Hard—–
 
Blog of Loong
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Gone For Cotton

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.
“Is Fred home”? he asked the woman who answered the door.
“Sorry,” the woman replied. “Fred’s gone for cotton.”
The next day, the collector tried again.
“Is Fred here today”?
“No, sir,” she said. “I’m afraid Fred has gone for cotton.”
When he returned the third day, he humphed, “I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again”?
“No,” the woman answered solemnly. “Fred died yesterday.”
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred’s tombstone, with this inscription:
“Gone, but not for cotton.”
 
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