Smile every day-2018-65

Posted by loong on 2018/09/15 in 英语段子 |

When You Know You Are Out of College

You Know You Are Out of College When:
– Your potted plants stay alive.
– Sleeping in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
– You have to pay your own credit card bill.
– Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
– “Extended childhood” only really pertains to your salary which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
– “Twenty-something” means over-qualified, under-paid and not married.
– Jeans, flannels and baseball caps aren’t staples in your wardrobe.
– You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
– You stop confusing 401k plan with 10K run.
– You go to parties that police don’t raid.
– You don’t know what time Wendy’s closes anymore.
– Your car insurance goes down.
– You refer to college students as kids.
– You feed your dog science diet instead of taco bell.
– Half your conversations with current college students start with, “When I was in college…”

Bill Payments

I opened my electric bill at the same time I opened my water bill.
Needless to say, I was shocked.

Well, He Wanted to Know

After years of wondering why he didn’t look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
“Yes, you were son,” his mother said as she started to cry softly. “But it didn’t work out and they brought you back.”
Blog of Loong

Baseball Fanatic

My wife claims I’m a baseball fanatic. She says all I ever read about is baseball. All I ever talk about is baseball. All I ever think about is baseball.
I told her she’s way off base!

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