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Smile every day-2018-64

Posted by loong on 2018/09/14 in 英语段子 |

A Race You Don’t Want to Win

As the plane approached the runway for takeoff, the pilot came on the overhead speakers…
“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome! We are third in line for takeoff, but don’t worry, I think I can beat’em.”

The Perfect Dress

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Her parents divorced, but that never stopped her from wanting to get married. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear. A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother. Jennifer asked her stepmother to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress and I’m wearing it,” she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”
Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner, the night before the wedding.”
 
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How Bad Was the Drummer?

As a nightclub owner, I hired a pianist and a drummer to entertain my customers. After several performances, I discovered the drummer had walked away with some of my valuables. I notified the police, who arrested him.
Desperate for another drummer, I called a friend who knew some musicians. “What happened to the drummer you had”? he asked me.
“I had him arrested,” I replied.
My friend paused for a second and asked, “How badly did he play”?
 
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Royal Templar

Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s table?
Why, Sir-Cumference, of course!
 
品英语笑话,轻松休闲学英语。
 

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