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Smile every day-2018-50

Posted by loong on 2018/08/31 in 英语段子 |

Understanding of women

One day a genie appeared to a California man and offered to grant him one wish.
the man said:” I wish you’d build a bridge from here to Hawaii so I could drive there anytime”
The genie frowned” I don’t know. It sounds like quite an undertaking,” he said. “Just think of the logistics. The supports required reaching the bottom of the ocean, the concrete, and the steel! Why don’t you pick something else?”
The man thought for a while and then said, “Okay, I wish for a complete understanding of women- what they are thinking, why they cry. I wish I knew how to make a woman truly happy”.
The genie was silent for a minute, then said “So how many lanes did you want on that bridge?”

If Microsoft operated Restaurants Patron: Waiter!

Wait…

If Microsoft operated Restaurants Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
搜索“Loong精选”,有你好看的!

A ventriloquist stop

A ventriloquist stops to entertain some people in a small town. He’s going through his usual stupid George W. jokes, when George W. himself walks up.
“I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating George W. jokes!” He says. “What makes you think you can stereotype me that way? What does a person’s knowledge of geography and world politics have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep people like me from being respected at work and in my community. I’m as smart as anyone else and…”
The ventriloquist begins to apologize, when George W. stops him. “You stay out of this, Mister. I’m talking to that little smart aleck on your knee!”
Blog of Loong

好玩又长知识,总有你喜欢的!

Bruno came home from

Bruno came home from school crying in hysterics. Looking at the bruises all
over his face, it was apparent he got into some trouble.
“What happened to you?” his father says in a panicky manner.
“You remember the other day you told me ‘Sticks and stones may break my
bones, but words will never harm me.'” “Of course,” the father replies.
“Well,” Bruno says, “you were right about the sticks and stones.”
品英语笑话,轻松学英语。

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