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Smile every day-2018-34

Posted by loong on 2018/08/15 in 英语段子 |

Weird Husband

“Doctor my husband is doing weird things lately”, a lady complains to her psychiatrist , “I strongly feel something wrong with him”.
“What is he doing, Mrs.Bankman, that looks weird to you?”, asks her the doctor.
“We’ll he drinks his cup of tea in the morning and eats the cup leaving the cup’s handle out”.
The doctor looks startled and after the initial confusion he goes, ” It is weird, he leaves the best part out”

Pandora

I just figured out how to get into Pandora… Use a credit card!

Grandpa can I have $10 please?

My cute little Granddaughter asks me, “Grandpa can I have $10 please?”
I said, “Well sure hun what’s it for?”
She says, “Well you old tightwad every time I ask for a twenty spot you say No!!!”

Blog of Loong
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Going to bed

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table, watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.
Mom then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Hubby called, “I thought you were going to bed.”
“I’m on my way,” she said.
She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In the bedroom, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.
About that time, hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular “I’m going to bed,”, and he did.

搜索“Loong精选”,有你好看。

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