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Smile every day-2018-13

Posted by loong on 2018/07/25 in 英语段子 |

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I’ll Pass On the Wings

The flight attendant on the trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As the young man stepped forward, she playfully offered some to him.
He passed, pointing to the Airborne wings on his Army uniform. He explained, “The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.”

 

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The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Man: “Hello.”
Woman: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club”?
Man: “Yes.”
Woman: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it”?
Man: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
Woman: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2016 models. I saw one that I really liked.”
Man: “How much”?
Woman: “$90,000.”
Man: “Okay, but for that price, I want it with all the options.”
Woman: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
Man: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It’s really a pretty good price.”
Woman: “Okay. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”
Man: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He smiles and asks, “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

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Hooked On A Feeling

Sushi lovers… they are “hooked” on raw fish.

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The Designated Canine

While taking their dog on a road trip, a family carries his drinking water in a gin bottle. On one occasion they stopped for lunch and let him out of the car. Pouring some water from the bottle into his bowl, the husband noticed a man watching with fascination.
The man slowly approached the family and whispered, “I hope that you’re not going to let that dog drive!”

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