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Smile every day-2018-7

Posted by loong on 2018/07/19 in 英语段子 |

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Home on the Range

What do you call an insane cow removed from his pasture and locked up in a pen?
De-ranged!

 

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Bad Baby

Due to a power outage, the house was very dark. The paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
After little Connor was born, the paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on the bottom. He began to cry.
The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!”

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Married Planets

Two planets are talking…
Saturn: I bet I get married before you do.
Venus: Why?
Saturn: Because I already have a ring.

Blog of Loong(http://nicelife.me)
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Child Bearing Academics

During a test, the college professor noticed that a married student, who was quite pregnant, kept rubbing her side. After class, before she left, the teacher asked her, “Are you okay? I noticed you were holding onto your side.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” the student answered. “It’s just that my baby was pushing his foot up and down my ribs, and it hurt a little.”
“Well, that’s good,” the professor said, feeling relieved.
“Yes,” she continued. “It’s strange. He normally sleeps during your class too.”

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