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Smile every day-2018-5

Posted by loong on 2018/07/17 in 英语段子 |

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The Power of the Dollar

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.

 

Blog of Loong(http://nicelife.me)
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The Error of His Ways

Arriving at the 18th hole where a large pond separated the fairway from the green, the foursome was shocked to see a golfer so furious with his game he threw his bag into the water and stormed off to the parking lot.
As they approached the green they noticed the man returning to the pond, removing his shoes and fishing for his bag. “Wow,” one of the men said, “it seems he has recognized the error of his ways.”
At that moment the errant golfer found his bag, zipped open the pocket, found his car keys, and then threw the bag back into the water.

Blog of Loong(http://nicelife.me)
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The Mule’s Gone

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor.
Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not too eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, “Why did you call me anyway? Isn’t it your job to bury the dead?”
The preacher paused and then replied, “Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!”

Blog of Loong(http://nicelife.me)
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GI insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to airman’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, “If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.”
“Now,” he concluded, “which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?”

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