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里根给儿子的一封信

Posted by loong on 2013/05/22 in 生活休闲 |

本文与大家分享第40任美国总统,被誉为“伟大的沟通者”的里根(Ronald Wilson Reagan)在他儿子26岁结婚前夕写给儿子的信,让我们一起聆听这位“最伟大的美国人”对儿子的谆谆教诲和他对婚姻的观点。

以下是我读后根据个人的理解完成的翻译,不愿意看英文的朋友如果不嫌我水平有限的话可以看看。网上也有很多翻译版本,我自己读的时候也参考过别人的翻译,但是就我从网上看到的几篇翻译而言,还没有一篇能让我满意到可以完全复制过来的程度,所以没敢偷懒,抛砖引玉拿出自己的理解和大家探讨。

我的翻译:

亲爱的mike

信中有我提及的内容和一张撕毁的欠条,写到这就可以停笔了,但我不会。(译者注:幽默)

你已经听说过很多来自婚姻失败者和愤世嫉俗者的笑话。假设以前没人告诉过你,那我现在告诉你其实还有另外一种观点。那就是你已经跨入了人类生活中最有意思的一种关系(译者注:指婚姻),它会成为什么样完全取决于你。

有些男人觉得只有在生活中演绎了更衣室里吹牛时的那些荒唐故事(译者注:指拈花惹草的事)才能证明他们的男子汉气概,他们自以为是的认为这些事只要瞒得好不让老婆知道就不会伤害到她。事实上,即使妻子没有在丈夫的衣领上发现口红或者抓住丈夫编着不可信的理由凌晨还在外面的鬼混,慢慢下来,不知怎么的,她还是会知道的。而且一旦她知道了,婚姻关系中那种神奇的魔力就消失了。还有很多男人在抱怨婚姻,其实正是他们自己破坏了婚姻,倒是他们的妻子不应该受到任何责备。有这么一个古老的规律:你在一件事上投入多少就能收获多少。对婚姻不能全心全意的男人,那他也只能从婚姻中收获很少。真的,将来你一定会有这样的时刻,当你看到某个人或者回想早前时光的时候,你会质疑你是否做的足够好,我来告诉你在你的余生和一个女人一起证明你的男子汉气概和魅力是多么伟大的挑战。我们经常看到那些靠到处欺骗鬼混的愚蠢男人,这并不是成熟的男人该做的。一个成熟男人会做让那个愿意听你打鼾、愿意看你不剃须、愿意为你洗脏内衣,在你生病时不离不弃照顾你的女人爱你,能吸引她的事情。做这些事并保持让她依然有一种温馨的感觉,那样你也会感受到婚姻的美妙乐章。如果你真爱一个女孩子,你不应让爱人在看到你和女秘书或一个你们双方都认识的女孩子打招呼的时候产生这个女子是不是导致你夜不归宿的原因这样会让爱人感觉屈辱的想法,你也别指望任何女人能在和你爱人会面时会在心里微笑着看着你爱人,记住对于除你爱人外的女人,即使片刻的关爱你都必须拒绝。(译者注:此处直译比较拗口,意思应该是你应该做的光明磊落,不要让爱人有任何怀疑,也不要给任何其他女人和你爱人争斗的机会)。

Mike,你比那些婚姻家庭不幸的人知道更多该怎么与爱人相处。现在你有机会让婚姻发展成它应有的样子。对于一个男人,没有什么比当你结束一天的劳累回到家门口的时候知道门的另一边有一个人在盼着你的脚步声更幸福的事情了。

爱你的,

爸爸

附言:如果你至少每天对她说一遍“我爱你”,那你将永远不会遭遇婚姻的烦恼。

英文原文:

Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971

Dear Mike:

Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won’t.

You’ve heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the “unhappy marrieds” and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.

Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn’t take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn’t ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.

Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Love,

Dad

P.S. You’ll never get in trouble if you say “I love you” at least once a day.

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